Create a Custody-Sharing Arrangement that Takes Your Children’s Needs Into Account
Divorce can be difficult on families, but even the most deeply-affected parents will acknowledge that divorce hits children the hardest of all. If you and your co-parent are sharing custody of your kids after a divorce, it can be a challenge to figure out how to provide a stable, loving environment for your children despite the necessary upheaval of changes in custody. Read on to learn several ways you can make a shared custody arrangement easier on your kids.
Take your children’s ages and developmental needs into account
Children’s needs change dramatically as they age, and these changes should have an impact on the custody plan you create. For example, a child who is still a toddler will need to spend time with both parents frequently to solidify the bonds that are still forming between parent and child. However, an older child may have a greater need to be able to attend after-school sports programs or lessons, or be near their friends to allow them social time. If one spouse lives closer to the child’s school or friend group, it may be in the child’s best interests to spend more time at that parent’s home rather than requiring a perfect 50/50 split.
Create a written plan
Children often have busy lives nowadays, between demanding schoolwork, sports, and other extracurriculars, and it can be difficult to keep track of all those activities. Tracking your child’s schedule will become even more complicated once you and your ex are living in separate homes. To avoid confusion and argument, be sure to keep a written copy of a calendar that includes your children’s activities as well as the schedule by which you plan to exchange custody. Consider using a Google Calendar, or another cloud-based calendar which both parties can easily view and edit.
Minimize interaction with your ex if necessary
If you and your ex can’t help but argue at every interaction, and you can feel your blood pressure rise each time you see them, then limit the face time you have with your ex. Your children will not benefit by seeing you and your co-parent fight each time you exchange custody, so if those moments become heated, create a rule that prevents you from talking on those occasions. Remember that your children will absorb everything you say and do.
If you are in need of legal assistance with a custody dispute or divorce in Southern California, contact the effective and compassionate Diamond Bar family law attorneys at Blasser Law for a consultation on your case, at 909-843-6363.